Dispatch One: Hello Again
A lot has happened in the last ten years. I worked with others to start a foxhunt, had some fun doing it, and became disillusioned with it and the politics of it all. Met a girl. Fell in love. Got married. Shockingly lost both of my parents in a relatively short time - something I still haven’t recovered from and still find myself reaching for the phone to call them when important things happen in my life. Shattered and broke some bones. Held my wife’s hand through treatment for two different cancers. (She’s fine now and plans on staying that way.) Had a dear friend usher in a new era of his life to start new projects and it and all that you’ve read above just sort of rained down on my head, and as I felt myself going under, I reached out to other folks in the business. I wondered how people balanced their “real life” and all the other goings-on with their professional lives. My mental health was beginning to deteriorate. I chatted with some great folks, online, on the phone, and on podcasts. I kept reaching for something that would settle my brain and alleviate that untethered feeling I had. I felt a little lost and I wasn’t sure what my next steps would be and I wasn’t sure where I fit in anymore.
Forgive me if I’m oversharing, but I really want to explain where I’ve been. I mean, what you see on social media is not inaccurate. I am fortunate, so fortunate, to have had the support of the family that I work for. I have love in my life. I can pay my bills. I have a roof over my head. I have access to outstanding horses and a killer facility to work out of. From the outside, things look grand and they are.
But I’m just like you. If anyone is reading this, please know that my life is just like yours. Sometimes it’s the highest of highs and I can’t believe how lucky I am and other times, I get low and wonder who I am and what I’m here for.
I was on the phone with a friend’s wife when she said something to me that started this whole, entire new project of returning to serving the public. She just said “Tommy, you just need to be training horses. That’s it. You just need to be on a horse, riding, teaching. It’s who you are.”
The realization that I’d spread myself so thin, that I wasn’t being “myself” left me feeling kind of thunderstruck. I’d made everything, all of these feelings, so complicated, when really. . .it was that simple. I love training horses and that’s what I need to be doing.
So, here I am. Me, myself, and I, making myself available to train horses for the public again.
Because I am determined to continue my education - because, like horses, humans are never truly finished - I read a lot, ride a lot, attend clinics, explore modalities that I’m unfamiliar with, diving in into what’s worth keeping, tossing out any flash or affectations that aren’t necessary.
Another thing that’s important to me this time around - I have to be myself. I want to be accessible to people in the horse community and industry. I want to “share” with you rather than “dictate.”
And I’m going to tell you a secret - there are no secrets to horsemanship. There is simply “not knowing.” I’m happy to both give and take knowledge. There’s no mystery to what I do. All you gotta do is ask, and I’ll do my best to share what I know. Of course, there’s always going to be some conflict or pushback from someone, somewhere out there who disagrees with what I do or the way I’m going it. Hell, there are people out there that think even sitting on the back of a horse is abuse. How ridiculous is that?
Anyway, I am opening my books on a limited basis to take on horses from the public. As I write this, slowly pecking my index fingers on the keyboard, wondering if I should’ve asked my wife to write this, I have space for two horses and anything after will go on the waiting list. I’ll stay in touch if you reach out to see when I can get your horse on the books.
To those of you who know me, friends, family, past clients, current clients - thank you for allowing me to do what I love.
